Saturday, March 29, 2008

This Situation Absolutely Requires a Really Futile and Stupid Gesture Be Done On Somebody's Part

Millions of fuzzy headed liberals congratulated themselves today on their effort to turn their lights off for an hour. The smug sense of satisfaction was the longest lasting effect of their effort. They plan to follow up this effort with a massive self-satisfied condemnation of productive people worldwide.

I know it's wrong to hope drivers plunged to their deaths off of the Golden Gate Bridge, but in an idiotic dereliction of responsibility to public safety at 8 pm PDT:

the Golden Gate Bridge, Coit Tower and other landmarks extinguished lights for an hour.

Meanwhile, search engine Google admitted their envy of the Nihilist in Golf Pants by turning their background to Nihilist black.

Most citizens of the world ignored this mindless feel-good gesture, including people who actually operate businesses that need to survive by fulfilling a public demand:

Ireland's more than 7,000 pubs elected not to take part — in part because of the risk that Saturday night revelers could end up smashing glasses, falling down stairs, or setting themselves on fire with candles.

Unfortunately, the entire energy savings from "Earth Hour" will be offset by the extra energy used to fly Al Gore around America on his "A Bigger Scolding" 2008 speaking tour.

Meanwhile, there was no comment from the Wetterling Foundation regarding "Earth Hour", though previous statements blamed the lack of proper lighting with endangering the safety of children everywhere:

It is also a safety issue to have lights on when kids are walking home at night from various activities in their neighborhood.

Al Gore why do you support the child abductors?


Blogger Mark said...

The solution to this conundrum is obvious - a Texas Cage Match between Saint Al and Saint Patty, with all proceeds going to charity, or the Vince McMahon Foundation, or somesuch.

12:17 PM  

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