I Am Not So Vain

In the Sisyphus Open Thread™ over at the Kool-Aid Report, I asserted my deeply held belief that the song “You’re So Vain” is about me. I think it’s about time I responded to the charges made in the song:

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
What she “forgot” to mention was that the party was, in fact, on a yacht.

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
That really is a good look on me, isn’t it?

Your scarf it was apricot
So sue me, apricot just happens to be my color.

You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
Gavotte? Is that French? Now who’s being pretentious?

And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You know it babe.

You're so vain
Am not.

You probably think this song is about you
Well it is, isn’t it?

You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Even if this song weren’t about me (which it is) wrongly thinking that it was about me would be more paranoia than vanity. Someone should buy you a dictionary (an English dictionary).

Don't you? Don't you?
Well, yes. Well, yes.

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Who’s the naïve one. I’m the one who had a singer-songwriter who then went on to libel me in a hit song.

Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
Okay, I admit I was just trying to get into your pants. And, I wasn’t exactly under oath at the time. I bet you defend Clinton for lying about “only sex”. Don’t you? Don’t you? Hypocrite.

But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
Would you rather I traded you for a carton of cigarettes?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
How many times did I tell you to clean your coffee maker?

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
Again about the coffee.

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?


Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Naturally.

Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
Actually it’s a BBJ, which is a far superior aircraft.

To see the total eclipse of the sun
Oh, I get it; you’re upset that I didn’t invite you along to see the eclipse. Well, the BBJ only seats 50.

Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy
Who told you about Valerie Plame? Expect a subpoena.

Or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and
I wouldn’t call Michael Douglas a close friend.

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
Yada, yada, yada. Get over it.