Thursday, January 27, 2005

Lileks Out Of Context Contest!

I have been collecting out of context Lileks qoutes for a few weeks. They are below as I pasted them from his Bleats. I have also added ONE and only one of my own FAKE Lileks qoutes to the mix.

The fun will be in trying to determine which one is made up!

Enjoy!

since my wife’s car is in the shop, again. Flat tire / bad rim. I haven’t gone anywhere. All day with Gnat, who’s on school break; it’s just like last summer, and I’m enjoying every second. Today we were straightening up my wife’s office,

while we played air hockey some limber kids were hurling basketballs into the net a few feet away, and three – Three! – balls flew over the backboard and struck me in the head.

On the other hand, the square boxes of facial tissue were priced waaay below the Target price,

I fed Gnat a Brazillian Tangerine (she loves to sing songs from the Jungle Book when she eats them) from a batch we picked up at Lund’s. She dropped one of the rinds on my wife’s office desk and I spent the better part of the morning Scrubbing and Vociferously Wiping.

Big milestone. She went to the Girls’ Room herself

I can’t believe I not only wrote that but felt compelled to pass it along.

Next: Realize I am spending time writing comments in Dave's blog instead of working quickly so I can relieve my wife

I replaced another headlight in her car, and this time I knew how to do it.

Of course, wife and child have the flu, or the rotovirus,

Watched all the Enterprise episodes this weekend,

I’m not spending any time on this; if I did, I’d think about it too much, and that would ruin it. It’s just typing

I enjoy listening to my local Hugh Hewitt affiliate, because one of their sponsors is a store catering to shootists, and the ad offers “machine gun rentals.” Not that I would rent one.

I had a small fever – well, maybe.

At Eddie Bauer the coats were marked down about 79%, so I bought two.

bless the world for not punching me in the jaw on general principle.

I’m starting to feel the same way Corbusier felt about New York skyscrapers

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would guess the 'Brazilian Tangerine' entry.

Although Lileksian in style and form, the term "vociferously" in regards to "wiping" was incongruous. Too imprecise of language for Lileks's standards - and I don't imagine him doing a lot of jabbering or shouting whilst polishing up a desk.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

I second the "Brazilian Tangerine" vote. Gnat singing "Jungle Book" songs when she eats them sounds a bit forced. As we all know, Gnat is currently obsessed with My Little Pony, rather than mid-60's Disney animation.

5:14 PM  

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