Top 11 Reasons the Obama Administration Killed the Keystone XL Pipeline

11. Was under the impression it was for sending really crappy beer

10. Michelle doesn't like the idea of him laying pipe

9. When people have jobs and oil they start voting Republican

8. Thinks there is an ironclad rule about having to trade blood for oil,
squeamish about implications

7a. America isn't really much of an oil using country, anyway

7b. Worried that if there is a spill, EPA regulators will be mocked as "Keystone Cops"

7c. Concerned that letting private sector create jobs will set a bad precedent

6. Pipelines sometimes leak whereas shipping oil has a 100% environmental
safety record

5. Still believes in 54, 40 or fight

4. Let the Canadians build an oil pipeline and the next thing you know
they'll want to build a maple syrup pipeline

3. Insisting the Canadians send us more wind instead

2. Republicans in Congress panicked him into cancelling the Pipeline by setting a deadline for a decision.

1. It is way cooler to import oil via high-speed rail