Top 11 Reasons Gary Johnson Didn’t File for the New Hampshire Primary

11. His supporters get a kick out of writing in “Johnson” on the ballot

10. So as not to appear heartless, hired illegal alien to do it and Jose dropped the ball

9. Staff told him not to worry about it because New Hampshire is not a big primary state

8. Was still mourning the death of the inventor of Doritos

7. Didn't see anything in the constitution requiring him to register for the NH primary

6. Distracted by the 200 Godfathers pizzas accidentally delivered to his campaign office

5. Realized that forgetting to file for the New Hampshire Primary was the only way he could generate publicity for his campaign

4. Too busy trying to secure the endorsement of Thad McCotter

3. Fascists at New Hampshire Secretary of State Office refused to accept three Grateful Dead CDs and a bong in lieu of the $1000 filing fee

2. Still waiting for the paperwork on his official name change to “Anyone But Romney”

1. Like the rest of America, forgot he was running for President