Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The Limits of Pest Control

One of the biggest misconceptions the general public harbors about the mega-rich is that we can use our vast wealth to crush just about anyone like a bug. Sometimes even the rich themselves are surprised to find just how much money it takes to rid themselves of unwanted pests.

Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman has apparently made just such a discovery, and I sympathize. Nick writes in his column about the blog Power Line: “[TCF National Bank Senior Vice President Scott] Johnson recently had time at his bank job to post a despicable item sliming Sen. Mark Dayton. If I had the money they think I do, I'd put it all in TCF. Then I'd pull it out.”

Yes Nick, it’s a cruel lesson that we all must learn sooner or later: It takes serious money to get a bank Vice President fired. I’ve been there, oh have I been there. It can be downright embarrassing to deposit say ten million into the bank where your annoying neighbor is a Senior VP and demand that he be fired, only to be laughed out of the place. Through hard experience I’ve come up with the following rough guidelines on the amount of money it takes to get a bank employee fired. (Note: this is just a rough guideline actual amounts vary considerably from bank to bank and employee to employee.)

Bank Teller: $1,000,000
Supervisor: $1,500,000
Corporate Support Personnel: $2,500,000
Branch Manager: $5,000,000
Corporate Middle Manager: $7,500,000
Junior Vice President: $25,000,000
Senior Vice President: $50,000,000
Chief Operating Officer: $75,000,000
Chief Executive Officer: $250,000,000


Blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants said...

That explains why Mr. Drysdale was so anxious to kiss up to the Clampetts.

10:09 PM  

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