tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82251232009-11-12T00:30:52.761-06:00"He promised to ‘cut in half’ what he called ‘Ford's Misery Index,’ pledging to reduce inflation to 6% and unemployment to 4%. But ‘Carter's Misery Index’ is twice as high, with inflation over 18% and unemployment at 6.5%, and both are climbing upward." <br><a><br></a> - <a href="http://www.startribune.com/sports/twins/53750567.html?page=2&amp;c=y"> Ted Kennedy </a> (1980 campaign brochure)Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.comBlogger1537125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-60239772804667498982009-11-06T20:26:00.003-06:002009-11-06T20:51:30.434-06:00

If you need another reason to hate the Democrats, here it is. Union workers, welfare queens and and illegal aliens thrive under Democratic administrations, but not as much as the New York Yankees.In this, the first year of the Obama Administration, the Yankees won their first World Series since . . . the last year of the Clinton Administration. You can blame George W. Bush for a lot, but you

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-41255741169539880382009-11-04T18:06:00.001-06:002009-11-04T18:06:00.629-06:00

There's been a lot of talk about the importance of positive body images for women. US Magazine recently ran a positive story about normal, everyday women who love their bodies. Or do they? Here are the top 11 body image quotes from the article, from the woman who said it:11. Fergie - If I don't do situps, my stomach sticks out10. Cameron Diaz - I enjoy my body a lot more now than I did in my

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-37084001659174957342009-11-03T19:48:00.002-06:002009-11-03T20:01:38.069-06:00

Our good friend LearnedFoot is officially a missing person. His whereabouts have been unknown since 3 pm last Sunday. While no one seems to know where he is, we have a top 11 list of likely speculations regarding his whereabouts:11. Naked in the fetal position in his basement muttering, "how bout dem Badgers?"10. Alcohol induced coma9. Stockpiling ammo and listening to “Sons of Liberty” podcasts8

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-21750267237110273062009-11-01T18:29:00.001-06:002009-11-01T18:31:04.545-06:00

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-73388085158566417072009-10-20T09:21:00.008-05:002009-10-20T09:32:36.009-05:00

11. Confused when staff told him he couldn’t blame the destruction of the Berlin Wall on George W. Bush and Fox News 10. He's planning to spend millions in stimulus funds on rebuilding the Berlin Wall9. Heard that David Haselhoff would be opening for him 8. DVD box set of Hogan's Heroes that he planned to give as a gift won't be released until 2010 7. Already honored the Germans enough by

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-4096882661152404852009-10-16T15:59:00.004-05:002009-10-16T16:04:15.080-05:00

It has been announced that King Banaian, founding member of the Northern Alliance Radio Network, is ending the Final Word radio program on AM1280 the Patriot and starting a new show, Saturdays from 9 - 11 AM on sister station KYRC (AM 1570).Rumors are swirling about his motivations. Here are the Top 11 most likely reasons he is leaving NARN:11) Court order, due to losing false advertising case

Saint Paulnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-44305747843369280582009-10-09T12:05:00.002-05:002009-10-09T12:07:41.310-05:00

11) Couldn't bear to challenge fellow "Brokeback Mayor" RT Rybak10) Already closed a deal with Norm to buy his old "Coleman for Senate" yard signs9) Concerned it would call into question the journalistic integrity of brother Nick's Twitter feed and lose him dozens of followers8) Most of campaign staff and volunteers unavailable until ACORN funding resumes7) Like most St. Paul residents, he's

Saint Paulnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-61034906619347299542009-10-09T09:00:00.002-05:002009-10-09T12:18:15.168-05:00

11. His election lowered the incidence of hate-filled profanity-laced rants on liberal blogs by over 75%10. He was responsible for Rio being awarded the first South American Olympics9. His domestic policies have reduced the income gap between the world’s richest country and the third world8. His brave inaction over corrupt Iranian elections prevented any possibility of an unpeaceful revolt to

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-82114162200346621522009-10-07T21:13:00.003-05:002009-10-07T21:33:42.206-05:00

11. A giant ring of space debris orbiting Saturn10. A giant ring of failure and McDonald's wrappers orbiting around Charlie Weis9. Dante's second ring of hell (lust) 8. A ring of hair around his shower drain7. His wife's wedding ring at a pawn shop6. A Beatles Revolution #9 ring tone for "special" calls to his cell phone 5. A nipple ring on a high-priced prostitute4. A ring-shaped number

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-83196227111420513162009-10-06T13:53:00.003-05:002009-10-06T13:57:20.277-05:00

11. St. Louis Hate 10. St. Louis Rush9. The St. Louis Hey-Did-You-Hear-He-Was-Briefly-Addicted-to-Oxycontins8. St. Louis Snerdleys 7. Excellence in St. Louis Football6. St. Louis Drivebys 5. St. Louis Dittoheads4. St. Louis Shock Jocks3. St. Louis Angry White Men (could impact their on field performance) 2. St. Louis Magic Negroes (that's what the LA Times called him)1. St. Louis Lewinskys (team

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-32742555347683118122009-10-02T13:43:00.001-05:002009-10-02T13:49:50.316-05:00

11. Required that the host nation be financially solvent10. Still angry over lack of prostitutes at the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics9. Refused to accept Obama's demand that ACORN have exclusive rights to manage prostitution at the 2016 games8. After listening to Obama's speeches for the last nine months, IOC decided that America wasn't really that great a place after all 7. Everyone knows

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-16479148831511324222009-10-02T11:17:00.002-05:002009-10-02T11:21:14.080-05:00

11. He's gotta plead ignorance because he wasn't aware that that sort of thing was frowned upon when he started working at CBS.10. CBS kept cutting his staff’s salary and benefits and he felt he should do something special for them 9. Did it as a tribute to the late Senator Edward Kennedy 8. In the right light, Paul Schaeffer is just irresistible 7. Did it to protest the climate of fear and

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-9025690081540364392009-09-24T16:10:00.004-05:002009-09-24T16:17:43.934-05:00

11) In my spare time I like to write withering and anonymous social commentary ..... in my underpants.10) You probably know me from my coverage of the Ramsey County Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor Elections.9) Would you like to come up to my room and see my City Pages Right Wing Blog of the Year Award?8) I could probably get you a discount membership to the Hughniverse.7) Maybe I could

Saint Paulnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-32077333998487710712009-09-22T16:01:00.000-05:002009-09-22T16:02:38.161-05:00

11. Has narrowed it down to Letterman and Al Franken for Rape Joke Czar10. Considering Larry Bud Melman as new Green Jobs Czar9. Worried that his health care plan wasn't getting enough exposure in the media 8. He'll go on any show that isn't on Fox7. Wanted to announce new initiative for Joe Biden during Stupid Pet Tricks6. He felt that the Sunday news shows weren't quite sycophantic enough 5.

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-87224316940009358842009-09-20T15:47:00.000-05:002009-09-20T15:49:17.722-05:00

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-79605848368015418542009-09-18T21:40:00.011-05:002009-09-18T22:05:40.792-05:00

As you know, this is fashion week in New York City. No need to go all the way to the Big Apple to find out what the smart set will be wearing in Spring 2010; here I present the top 11 fashions week fashions:11. The ingenious Snuggie makes its Fashion Week debut. Here, Snuggie puts the hip in hippie.10. I always applaud practicality in fashion. I am glad that Zac Posen is incorporating mosquito

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-51243605225408718062009-09-16T12:05:00.003-05:002009-09-16T12:10:31.714-05:00

The Democrats controlling the House Rules committee have come out with guidelines for members on which insults of the President are and are not allowed. Here are the top 11 allowed insults:11. Twin Tower demolisher10. Dangerous right wing neocon extremist hate monger who wants to slow the growth in federal spending on sorghum subsidies.9. You make racists angry8. You ‘re too sexy for that

Sisyphushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06212947050651046226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-61494103540258918282009-09-11T16:17:00.005-05:002009-09-11T16:26:07.131-05:00

11) Wants to use the Timberwolves as an example of another dysfunctional, expensive, and under performing system10) Will emphasize no health care for illegal immigrants, unless Ricky Rubio comes here9) Will promise to finally find a cure for Michael Williams' plantar fasciitis8) Trying to piggy back on the success and popularity of the Minnesota Lynx7) Seats in the upper deck are too far away to

Saint Paulnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-21066213766259144512009-09-09T12:46:00.003-05:002009-09-09T13:22:58.245-05:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: As the sole remaining contributor to the Nihilist in Golf Pants Blog - the others having fled to more respectable digs - I have assumed the title of Editor in Chief. As such, I have relaxed the editorial standards so that I may make gratuitous reference to male genitalia, along with helpful suggestions as to what some may do to said genitalia.Way back in, oh say March, a number of

LearnedFoothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12968556643552725315noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-62516391598352706602009-09-01T15:45:00.000-05:002009-09-01T15:46:30.044-05:00

Pundit and talk radio shock jock Hugh Hewitt has recently launched a premium content website called The Hughniverse. Here are the Top 11 other names that were considered for the site. 11. Hugh & Cry10. Behind the Khaki Dockers 9. Hughoogle8. Hugh Jazz 7. A Room with a Hugh6. Pay for Hugh5. Do you know Hugh I Am?4. Five Dollars You Will Never Get Back3. Hughmongous Members2. Hugh 3/5 (except for

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-23027733775474297532009-08-29T15:06:00.003-05:002009-08-29T15:18:40.326-05:00

In the linked clip, Brett Favre says that no one on the Vikings would use the word schism to describe the team's QB situation. Defensive lineman Jared Allen suggested that no one on the Vikings knows the meaning of that word.Therefore, we present the top 11 words for which Brett Favre doesn't know the meaning:11. Retired10. Dignified9. Prudent8. Threepeat7. Discretion6. Narcissism5.

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-66651237528926225862009-08-27T20:40:00.005-05:002009-08-27T21:06:50.330-05:00

Earlier this week, I had the displeasure of trying to participate in our democratic process. Easily, the worst part of trying to join Senator Amy Klobuchar's Health Care Town Hall was surfing over to the Senator's official web site only to be greeted by this photo of Senator Klobuchar.I'll be frank, looking at the Senator's photo is an unpleasant experience. I know I can't be alone in thinking

Nihilist in Golf Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14363439123292045651noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-3776860120923201832009-08-25T13:29:00.000-05:002009-08-25T13:37:07.924-05:00

11. Doctors required to perform mandatory reach arounds with all rectal exams 10. IRS agents will heretofore be prohibited from performing colonoscopies9. Drug company executives who run erectile dysfunction ads during sporting events to be water-boarded and sent to Guantanamo Bay 8. Promise to recruit only med students who resemble the cast of Grey's Anatomy7. Free breast examinations provided

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-74002302144461660722009-08-20T09:54:00.004-05:002009-08-20T10:05:41.905-05:00

Joe Klein reports at Time that The GOP Has Become a Party of Nihilists. No word on their choice of leg wear. Party on Joe.

Misanthropic Frat Boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00645653913225092629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8225123.post-53839638528375932732009-08-19T12:06:00.003-05:002009-08-19T12:13:59.633-05:00

Because the Nihilist in Golf Pants blog strives to be fair and balanced, we have also created a Viking Fan Status Alert. Though, I'm not sure of what use it is, since it hasn't changed in the last 40 years: If you're wondering how I, a mere blogger, was able to create such a hyper-accurate and timely early warning system, it's because I was the first to accurately map the typical Viking fan's

LearnedFoothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12968556643552725315noreply@blogger.com3