Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Top 11 Excuses President Obama Has For Trailing Mitt Romney in the New York Times Poll

11. No need to be concerned, the New York Times isn't really a big liberal paper

10. Apparently New York isn't a really big gay town either
9. Pollsters failed to identify Romney as "radical right-wing Mitt Romney"
8. HUGE over-representation of inbred polygamists from Utah

7. People love Mitt's work in Mad Men

6. Poll only sampled 6% more Democrats than Republicans when just about everyone the administration talks to is a registered Democrat

5. Results clearly show that Obama has been too moderate to appeal to average Americans

4. Poll under-sampled the funemployed

3. Polls won’t matter once Obama brings in Vladimir Putin’s campaign staff

2. Poll was taken during season finale of “Glee”

1. Many in the sample were afraid Romney would track them down and cut their hair off if they didn't pick him

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Buffalo Soldier

President Obama has been bragging about how "he" shot Osama Bin Laden.  His quotes almost sound like the words to the Bob Marley song that was later covered by Eric Clapton:

I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy.
I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy.

All the mean Republicans
They're trying to put me down.
They say that people shouldn't vote for me
For my handling of the economy,
For our moribund economy.
But I say:

I shot bin Laden, and I swear that I'm tough on defense.
I shot bin Laden, crossing me is a capital offense.

I've created jobs from green energy; 

How many I don't know.
When XL Pipeline came to me
I said, kill it before it grows.
I said, kill it before it grows.
I say:
I shot bin Laden, and I swear that I'm tough on defense.
I shot bin Laden, crossing me is a capital offense.

Unemployment is up today
And I can't get it down.
Regulatory reform hurting small business now
Obamacare's got employers down.
It has got them way way down.
I say:

I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy.
I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy.


Reflexes make me tax you see
And the Buffert rule must be.
Every day the dollar gets dumped,
And one day the bottom will drop out,
Yes, one day the bottom will drop out.
But I say:
I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy.
I shot bin Ladin, don't you talk 'bout the economy