11. Offered to print up some of those cool "socialism" posters, but with Kim Jong Il as the Joker
10. Offered to send Al Gore for next round of talks if negotiations weren't quickly concluded
9. Demanded to verify the women's identities by seeing them naked
8. Offered Kim a cigar from his "special" humidor
7. Offered invitation to Obama’s next beer bust
6. Demanded that Kim begin intensive negotiations with US that require Hillary to come to North Korea for an extended period of time
5. Offered to convince Sean Penn to visit Pyongyang and say that Kim Jong Il is his favorite left-wing dictator
4. Offered to negotiate during a round of golf, where Clinton would cheat slightly less than Kim Jong Il
3. Offered to participate in a propaganda broadcast assuring North Koreans that Kim Jong Il "feels your pain"
2. Offered free carbon offsets for their nuclear weapons development program
1. Demanded that the women will "ride home on his jet"